you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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