So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
