Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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