I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
