you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
