Grow some girl-balls and come out already
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize