I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize