4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
