he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
