Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
