I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
