you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize