I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
And then he peed in my hair
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