Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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