are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
