cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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