I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
