I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
