i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
