But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
