And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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