glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
