I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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