One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
last night I used snow as a chaser
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize