Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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