I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
