2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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