So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
