I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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