yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
