So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize