There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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