how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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