omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
