lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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