dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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