Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
3pm strippers are depressing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize