I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
