Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
