Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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