Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
