They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
