Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
