I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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