i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
