Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize