he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
