We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
