Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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