Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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