VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
