You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
