someone owes me an orgasm
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize