its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
