just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
