everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
