when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize