can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
