your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
