I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
