I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
