return my video game
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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