his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
