You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
