I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
