i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
