um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
