I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
