you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
