my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
