dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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