some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
false alarm. still invincible.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
