i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
