She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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