Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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